I
give up! I surrender! I officially hate shopping. Okay, I have always hated shopping, but now
it’s official.
I
drop my youngest off at college today so he can start his final undergrad
year. I do feel a little sentimental
about it all, but I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll be partying in the streets. I have been so busy helping him get ready
that I have ignored stuff that I need, basic stuff like pants for work and some
new shirts, all of which I need before school starts this week. I decide to go searching through the mall on
my way home.
I’m
in sale/credit-card mode, so I restrict myself to the three big anchor stores
(end – middle – end), which is difficult because other stores keep catching my
attention and … “Oh, shiiiiiiiiny….” I
start hustling through the mall, eyes set on my destination, shoving people aside
like Captain Kramer making his way through the airport in the movie Airplane. I feel slightly guilty when the salesperson I
brush off brusquely chimes, “Have a nice day!”
I will if people stop accosting me and trying to sell me crap.
I
walk into the first store, and here’s where I have a huge problem. I understand separating men’s clothing from
women’s clothing, and I understanding separating adult clothes from children’s
clothes. I even totally get separating
young men’s clothing and junior clothing because it’s supposed to be hipper.
I
fail to understand why department stores separate clothing by designer. No, really.
I can understand if I were shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue, but,
seriously. Why can’t all the sweaters be
together? The coats? The shirts?
The pants? Not only is it
frustrating, it’s a damn time choker.
Here’s
something else that bugs the shit out of me – The sizing of clothing. I can actually fit into a 3-size span from
one maker to another, sometimes even between colors. Why am I medium in one store and small in
another? And while I’m on the subject,
what the hell is going on with the sizing at Chico’s? When someone with three times my booty can
fit into a 0.5 … and I can’t … I know there’s something going on here I am
failing to understand.
After
almost three hours, I’ve hit three stores and begrudgingly carry home three
small bags of clothing, a mere fraction of the mountains and mountains and I do
mean inexplicably high mountains of clothing I dragged into fitting rooms with
me. I focus on shirts and pants and come
home with both plus some skirts.
The
items I still need, though?
Overwhelming. I only have myself
to blame; I’ve spent the last few years raising kids and going back to grad school
while working full-time, so fashion trends have never really been my focus area,
but playing Hide-‘N’-Seek with jeans isn’t my thing, either. Don’t put pants in twenty different places of
the display floor; put them all together.
Let me decide if I want Lee or Levis, short-sleeved shirts or
long-sleeved shirts, dressy or casual wear, but at least put them close enough
to know “This is where I pick out pants; this is where I pick out tops…”
Maybe
stores should give maps of their displays.
Or maybe I should give up. After
all, I do hate shopping, and I doubt if correctly-placed mannequins and
well-placed sweater displays will improve that.
Of
course, a place to sit down and sip lemonade and eat bonbons might help, too.
Just
a suggestion, retail managers, just a suggestion.
