SEPTEMBER 31ST

The other day at school several kids tried to correct me when I posted that Monday's work is due on October 1st.  They insisted that I was wrong, that Monday is September 31st.

I said, "When in your lifetime has September had 31 days?"

Several thought I was yanking their chains and that I must be the biggest idiot since everyone knows that every month has 31 days.

Hadn't they ever heard the jingle, I wondered.  Most hadn't.  So I started:

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November.

They were awestruck.  So I repeated and continued:

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November.
All the rest have thirty-one.

It was as if I were speaking Klingon.  Surely I must be wrong, they insisted.  Why would some months be short?  I let this debate go on until I honestly thought someone's head was going to explode.  Then I sang out:


Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November.
All the rest have thirty-one,
Except for February because it's stupid.

Stupid?  Why is February stupid, they wanted to know.  Why, why, WHY?

Because I couldn't remember the last line of the rhyme.

Look for my September 31st column on Monday.  If you find it, RUN ... because there's no such thing, kiddos, truly, there is no such thing.