CLASSY RESPONSE ... NOT

WTF is this?

My home is still without gas.  The street and the pipes to the house are gas-ready, but the pipes inside are not, I need all new appliances, and the gas company never finished installing the meters.  This morning the temperatures dip into the 30's.  By the afternoon, it's a toasty 45 degrees. I have been somewhat curt with friends and relatives because, quite frankly, I'm crankier and crankier as this situation continues.

Here's today's conversation with a friend who moved to Los Angeles a while back from New England:

L.A. Dude: "Did you see that catch to win the game with the bases loaded?"

Me:  No, I was out cold.  Cold ... ugh, it's 45 degrees outside and 58 inside.

L.A. Dude: Dry and hot here.  80's.

Me:  Damn you.

L.A. Dude:  85 to be precise.

Me:  (long pause) Fuck you a zillion times infinity.

L.A. Dude:  Classy broad.

Me:  Oh, please fucketh thyself a zillion multiplied by absolute value infinity and beyond ... my humble sir.

This, apparently, is why I do not have and cannot maintain friendships.