My daughter, who has to work Thanksgiving afternoon and evening, decides to join us in Maine for a few hours, even if it means she misses dinner. She will need to get there early to make the 3+ hour round-trip before-work ride worthwhile, but she wants to make sure others will be there, too.
Text exchange prior to the Maine family gathering between my daughter (SHE) and me (ME). Words here and there have been correctly spelled and may or may not be twisted altogether.
SHE: Can you text me when you're heading to Maine?
ME: No.
SHE: Okay...
(Long pause between texts)
ME: I can't text and drive. It's illegal.
(Longer pause between texts)
SHE: Text me BEFORE you leave, Douche.
Ah, yes. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the gift of clarity in the English language and the ability to bring it to the cyber-text world. You're welcome. (P.S. Dinner is ready early; my daughter eats dinner before she leaves Maine to head to work. Thankful for that, as well.)
