First, I need to pick up some stuff at the store after I leave work on Monday. I'm all set to go, but, for some reason, I double-check my wallet. I am 99.99% positive that I have plenty of cash in there, so I feel silly for even looking.
Damnit. I have $7 cash; no credit card, no checks, no bank card. Pissah. I have to swing by the house before I do anything else. Walking out of work, I am yelling at myself: "You stupid, STUPID person! You STUPID, STUPID, STUPID person!"
Tuesday we have all-day meetings. At the end of the day, I stay late to make some copies that I need. I copy several pages of things back-to-back, hole-punched, collated ... you name it; I'm copying it. I am finally ready to leave work when I realize that one of the worksheets is copied wrong and that I missed an entire page.
It's fixable and it's minor, but I am very tired. I haven't been feeling well all day and woke up with vertigo in the morning (walked right into the wall ... twice). I could go home now and fix the copying mistake the following day, but it will bug me all night.
Damnit. I gather the papers that need to be correctly re-run through the machine and stalk down the hall while muttering, "You stupid person. You stupid, stupid person. You STUPID, STUPID, STUPID person!" I stay and re-copy the pages correctly, adding another fifteen minutes of work onto my day, which doesn't seem like much, but it's dark when I finally get outside ... and it's cold ... and it's raining. Pissah.This morning I am trying to get out of the house so I can get to work early and get my feet under me before the day begins: Set up the classes, bookmark the PowerPoint slides, make sure the audio for the article is running. I showered the night before and only need to straighten my bangs, which look like miniature ski jumps the way they stick out. I plug in the straightener, get dressed, cut it close to leaving time, and prepare to hot-iron the crap out of my errant bangs.
Damnit. I forgot to actually press the "on" button, so the straightener isn't even tepid, let alone hot. I hit the regular "on" button as well as the "turbo on" button, then madly attempt to fix my hair, all the while chanting, "You STUPID person, You STUPID person. You STUPID person." My hair ends up looking pissah, and by pissah, I mean I look like a groomed spaniel.
Lastly, I have a remote start for my car. I've never actually used the remote start in the six months that I've owned the car, but I figure today is the day to start because it's chilly out. I point the remote through the window of the living room, and ... nothing. I try again and again and again to remotely start the car.
Finally, in the driveway walking near the car, I try it again and the car starts. It also locks itself up like Fort Knox.
Damnit. I cannot even get into my own car. I try hitting the button on the remote to unlock the car. Nothing. I try my other set of keys. Nothing. I try shutting the car off. Nothing. Pissah.
During one of these Stupid Person moments this week, a colleague stops me to inquire of whom I speak. Who is stupid, she wants to know. Me. I am. Hopefully, though, this is the last of it for this week. Just in case it's not, though, I don't stay late at work today. Instead, I haul ass, come straight home, inform my son we are eating leftovers out of the fridge, and get into my pajamas by 6:00 p.m.
Before bed, I decide to make lunches for tomorrow. I get out the bread, the mayo, the knife... Oh, yeah. I came right home from work. I didn't stop at the store. There is no sandwich meat for lunches. Damnit. Here I go again. "Stupid person. Stupid, stupid, stupid..."
Time for bed; I'll try again tomorrow. I know defeat when I see it. I may be a stupid person, but I'm not a total idiot.
