PRE-CHECK = DONE

I do not fly very often.  Up until sixteen months ago, I'd never flown at all.  I don't have any great fear of flying.  As a matter of record, I find it rather relaxing.  Three things have kept me from flying in my life: personal responsibilities; miserly attitude; claustrophobia.

A friend (who loves to fly and goes everywhere) is the same person who accompanied me on my first flight.  Since then, I've flown with layovers and flown solo several times.  To seasoned travelers, this may not seem like a big deal, but I am so used to driving everywhere that this whole flying thing still fascinates me (time from here to there -- a few hours) and aggravates me, all at the same time (no real scenery and no on-the-road misadventures). 

This summer my friend and I toy with the idea of getting TSA pre-check.  I've been lucky enough to have this on my ticket more often than not, but the last time I went through security, I gave up my space in line to be polite to a gentleman who arrived at the same time I did in the queue only to have him hauled out of line because it was "the next passenger's turn to be searched."

Holy crap. That would've been me.  I'm still a novice at this whole getting through the airport check-point stuff, and that probably would've made me pee my pants.  So, when my friend reminds me about the TSA pre-check idea, I hop on board.

We imagine a long process, one involving a lengthy questionnaire and being sequestered in a small, dimly lit room in Boston someplace where individually we would be bombarded with questions about our past, present, and future shenanigans.

Turns out to be a much less painful process.  We do not have to go to Boston; we go to Billerica.  We are not put into locked rooms with two-way mirrors; we each step behind a partition, one at a time, and can hear each other's answers.  We are not bombarded with personal questions; we click some answers online in front of the agent (maiden name, ever been arrested or convicted, gun issues, mental health stability, etc.).  All we need are pre-approved IDs and our credit cards.

Neither my friend nor I balk at the fingerprinting since we have both been fingerprinted for the government within the last year in connection to our employment.  Yes, teachers have to be fingerprinted, either to see if we are criminals or to identify our bodies in case of a massive disaster or gas leak explosion.

The initial application process says that TSA pre-check screening results will be delivered in 120 days.  Oh, well.  It's good for five years, so what's a few months of processing.  This is the government, after all.  The agents who screen us claim that we should know our status in thirty days.  Within three days, though, I receive my confirmation notification along with my KTN (Known Traveler Number). 

Not only is this exciting, but now I have to book a flight somewhere.  It's time.  Except there's one thing I still haven't tried out yet: using the airplane potty.  I suppose that will be my next big adventure now that I am TSA pre-check.  Of course, if I'm a little claustrophobic on the big plane, I imagine it may not bode too well for me in a teeny compartmentalized bathroom.  We shall see.  I guess I'll have to book a flight that's longer than two hours and test it out.