Store tags are generally made of thin card stock and attached to merchandise with cheap plastic cording. Many of us remove store tags with scissors. If we don't have scissors available, we often tug hard to snap the plastic line. If that fails, or if ripping of the coveted item may occur, it might be easier to simply tear the tag a little bit and work it off of the plastic tether.
But, people. For real! It's probably a really good idea to get tags off of things before you drag them around.
Today at the beach we encounter two tag offenders. The first is a huge group of adults with a huge brood of small children. When they arrive, it's like a scene from Willard when they suddenly invade and fan out across the beach, scattering like rats in the sunlight. This would all be scary if the group didn't have a giant store sale tag hanging from their beach umbrella.
Seriously. Your umbrella is NOT a Minnie Pearl hat. Tear that bad boy off and stop looking like beachy amateurs.
Directions. For a beach chair. What the hell could the directions possibly say? "Open chair. Sit your ass down. Don't fall over."
For people unclear on the concept: I appreciate that this may be your first day this season, possibly your first time ever, at the beach. Like your bathing suit, though, pull visible tags off of things. That way you can blend right into the crowd as if, like the rest of us, you've been doing this all of your life.
Oh, and most of all -- Welcome to the beach (because, contrary to popular belief, I am not a complete and total beach snob).
