I hate shopping, which means that I am going into the worst possible season for a person like me. To do my Thanksgiving grocery shopping, I decide that the large chain market is the best option. I must hit the store exactly at the right time, and, when I do arrive, there's a huge line of cars trying to get out of the lot, but there are plenty of empty spaces near the store.
When I go inside, the place is no more crowded than any other weekday afternoon. I can tell, though, that this shopping trip is different -- The shelves are being stocked beyond capacity and I can move around a little bit without limb loss.
The last item on my list is simple: Granny Smith apples for the pie. To my surprise and horror, there are NO loose Granny Smith apples in this giant grocery store.
The store does, however, have pre-bagged fruit: 3 red Delicious apples, 3 oranges, and 3 Granny Smith apples in each packaged bag. The packages are $6.49 each. I need at least two bags' worth, maybe three bags' worth, but I am not paying that kind of money just to get Granny Smith apples. Besides, I hate the taste of red Delicious apples.
So, I break open the bags. Okay, I pre-warn the produce clerk that I'm going to do this, but still.
In the end, I bag myself six small Granny Smith apples. I really need seven large Granny Smith apples, but the store doesn't have them, and I really should break open a third bag and grab three more apples, but I cannot bring myself to do this. Two busted produce bags seems like enough. (I throw in two Braeburns, just in case.)
My pie is perfect. Flat, yes, but perfect otherwise. Thanksgiving, on the other hand, is perfect and not at all flat, which makes my whole apple-pilfering an absolutely worthwhile adventure.
