This simple fact leads to a fine juggling act: which bills get mailed immediately and which ones wait until I buy more stamps. Of course, the birthday cards get mailed out immediately. I try to mail birthday wishes on time, and I'm damn proud of myself that I mail the two cards out using the last of the stamps. Yup, proud, proud, proud.
Until I remember that there are three birthdays this week, not two. I totally spaced out and forgot a friend's birthday. (Happy birthday -- sorry. All of my blog friends say "Happy birthday," so I hope that qualifies. Yes, it's today.) Pride evaporates pretty quickly at this point.
Four days pass before I remember to buy stamps, and I don't actually remember. I happen to be grocery shopping and pass the courtesy counter on my way out. There's no line, so I ask the clerk, "Do you sell stamps?" Yes, yes they do sell stamps, but they sell them in books of twenty. Um ... duh. Do people truly go to stores and say, "Sell me one .... no, sell me three stamps! Yes! Three! Just three! No more, no less!"?
Holiday stamps? They can't be Memorial Day stamps nor Flag Day stamps nor Independence Day stamps because the mainstream stamps have flags on them, which means they already cover those holidays. I doubt he means Bastille Day, which is a little over a month away, because our stamps are not French. So, what, then? Father's Day stamps? End of the School Year stamps?
I'll bite. "What do the holiday stamps look like?"
He pulls out Christmas stamps. Not just any Christmas stamps; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer stamps. I instantly feel the smirk spreading across my face. This. Is. Awesome.
"I'll take two books, if you have them."
He seems surprised at first, but, within moments, he is on board with me. Perhaps my face gives me up. Perhaps his sense of humor is as sickly ironic as is mine. No matter. I leave the store with my groceries and forty Rudolph holiday stamps.
Get ready, credit card payment centers. Prep yourself, AAA yearly dues. Pay attention, car and life insurance companies. You better watch out; you better not cry; you better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is mailing to you.
