The star of my dream is a private-eye type detective. Somehow she needs to get an entire family into a car and race to a dinner for which they are extremely late. Two problems: the car is a Power Wheels car, so who knows how the family will fit; the Power Wheels car is stuck in the mud. In all this, Detective Girl gets mud all over her expensive shoes.
I'm sure some psychology major reading this is gleefully rubbing his or her mitts together, preparing to psychoanalyze me into oblivion, especially when I say that I wake up with a massive headache.
What does it all mean? Am I stuck in a rut? Am I unable to make time/room for my own family? Have I stepped into some deep pooh without realizing it? Did I have something funky to eat before bed last night? Am I having a brain aneurysm? Any one of these is a distinct possibility.
Usually I can gauge how long my dreams are: fifteen minutes, an hour, three minutes, three hours... I can tell because I often wake up and glance at the clock. It's also a little sucky because I'm one of those people who can fall into a REM sleep instantly, even sitting in a kitchen chair. According to the wide and wonderful Internet, instant REM sleep is a disorder that proves something is seriously wrong with me. However, also according to the Internet, there are millions of us who experience this same sleep pattern.
This begs the question: Are those of us who fall into instant REM sleep the ones who are abnormal, or are the abnormal ones the people sleep-tested to prove "normal" sleep patterns have REM happening later in the sleep cycle?
Truly, though, my sleep patterns aren't the most disturbing part of all of this. I have to be honest -- Hours later I am still morbidly fascinated by the vivid imagery of my mud-filled dream. I mean, really, come on already. Who the hell thinks their entire family is going to fit into a Power Wheels car?
Dumbasses.
