GRANT AND WHO?

I'm tired.  I am so incredibly tired that I have been dozing off at work lately -- not like a nap; more like my eyes roll into the back of my head and I feel like my world is going to go dark at any second. 

Needless to say, I have been drinking a lot of tea.

I think I have this terrible exhaustion under control until my class right before lunch.  I teach three straight before lunch, meaning that I am on my feet and en pointe from 7:45 until 11:10 without stopping and without so much as a potty break.  I'll be honest, by 11:00 some days I am absolute toast.

I have been teaching fables, and we have been using "Ant and Grasshopper" as our mentor text -- different versions, modern translations with human characters, etc.  After almost two weeks of saying "Ant and Grasshopper," you'd think I would have it down pat by now. 

You would be wrong.

Right before lunch break, when everyone is listening because the students are also toast by now, I attempt to say, "Ant and Grasshopper."

Instead, I say, "Grant and Asshopper."

Yes, I do, I truly do.  And about halfway through the word "Asshopper," I notice faces in the room freeze, eyes open wide, and I hear a few snickers scattered about me.  I notice one poor girl has gone completely white, her eyes wide open in amazement, and she looks like she is going to faint.

It's almost as exciting as the time I was teaching sixth grade and attempted to say the word "city," only that's not what I said.

Oh, well.  I can pretend it's some weird version of the old television series Kung Fu:  "Try to grab this fable from my hand, Asshopper..."  In the meantime, I'll try and get some sleep.  The kids don't need to hear my potty mouth, whether it's on purpose or by accident, and I really, really, really need this job.