Okay, so it is I who is too impatient to wait in lines, but it is also I who is too impatient to put up with idiot shoppers on my quest to be in and out of the store tout suite.
As I barrel down one of the aisles, a woman comes around the corner and parks her carriage right in the middle, angled so no one can get by. She thinks I am going to stop and wait for her or go around her.
She is mistaken.
I continue on my mission, head up, eyes forward. My cart makes contact with hers at nearly warp speed, careening her selected goods around the giant metal cage like Bingo balls. I finish her off with a hipcheck to the carriage, hitting her square in the thigh with her own booty of groceries.
"Uh .. I'm sorry," she mutters, clearly expecting me to apologize and claim responsibility.
Fuck her. She's holding ME up. I ignore her and continue on my way. Yeah, I feel guilty for about a millisecond.
I hate shopping, and, apparently, it hates me right back. I'll take the bruise, though, as I am home in near-record time. Best of all, I didn't even have to engage in conversation. Now, that's my kind of shopping trip.
