Sorry. Lost my head for a moment. Apparently, everyone else is losing their heads, too. People are at supermarkets buying gallons and gallons of milk, and they're at hardware stores buying ice melt and shovels! Lions and tigers and bears -- oh, my!
You see, I am watching the latest weather report. Apparently it's supposed to snow ALL DAY LONG and we might get about four inches of snow. Four inches -- maybe as much as ... seven inches. But wait! If you call right now ... Seven to nine inches of snow expected in the "Sweet spot," the weather person says, "the 495 belt."
What the hell does that mean?
Look, when 495 was constructed, I'm reasonably sure no one drew an arc and instructed developers to build this road "as the dividing line between snowfall amounts." For years I lived on 495. Not near. On. I swear to you, there wasn't a point where more snow fell on one side of the highway than it did mere yards away on the other side of the highway.
But what do I know? I mean, an ALL DAY LONG snow event producing four whole inches of snow certainly must be a helluva storm. A whopper. Maybe I should run out to the store and buy loaves of bread and jars of peanut butter. I mean, I don't know when I'll be able to get to the store again. Maybe not even until spring!
Folks, if you see someone waving a white flag, it's me. Oh, wait. No one will see my flag of surrender because it's going to be snowing out. ALL DAY LONG. Arma-frigging-geddon! Lions and tigers and bears!
Oh. My.
