I didn’t watch the news
this morning. Every morning before work
I watch two things: Weather and
Traffic. But I didn’t watch this
morning, I didn’t tune in to my regular NECN (New England Cable News)
broadcast, and I got caught off-guard today, not once but twice.
The weather concerns me
because I have to go outside. Since I
need someone I trust to tell me exactly what the weather is going to do, I
watch NECN for Matt Noyes. If Matt Noyes
is not on, I’ll watch any channel that suits me at the moment, but if Matt
Noyes is on, I always listen. He’s
rarely, if ever, wrong.
I also will only watch
traffic on NECN. I don’t give a rat’s
butt about the traffic because I travel eight miles to work and usually go the
back roads. (Of course, today I got
stuck behind two construction vehicles going 20 mph, but that’s my own bad
luck.) I watch the traffic because Scott
Montminy is hilarious.
None of this is news to my
regular readers. All of them know that I
am a Noyes-Montminy freak. Yet, this
morning, my first day back to work in ten, and I totally space out and miss the
broadcast. I’m posting on Facebook and
updating the blog and eating half an apple and washing my hair and putting on
my make-up and getting my lunch ready.
This series of events totally
sets me up for my double failure.
As I leave in the morning,
I grab a heavy winter jacket rather than a thick fleece zip-up. As I head to my car, I wonder why I’ve
bundled up so much. It’s about 38
degrees out and quite comfy. I kick
myself for the jacket, knowing I’ll probably look like a dope wearing a fluffy
down jacket outside later in the afternoon when the temperature is sure to be
in the mid-to-high forties.
Dumb, dumb, dumb me. I should’ve watched NECN. The warm morning air takes me completely
off-guard. This is mistake number one.
Later on as I am leaving
work, seething over an unprofessional email I receive from in-house, I remember
how warm it had been earlier. Between
that thought and my hot temper, I exit the building with my jacket unzipped,
expecting to shed it as soon as I get to the car, maybe even drive home with
the window open.
Dumb, dumb, dumb me. I should’ve watched NECN. The frigid, icy, Arctic blast of afternoon wind
takes me completely off-guard. This is
mistake number two.
I seriously thought this
weather wasn’t moving in until late Wednesday and all day on Thursday.
The shock and awe of the
freakishly cold air sends most of my blood immediately to my core in a life-preserving
fury. Thank goodness I am wearing this
ridiculously fluffy winter coat by accident.
When I get home, I watch a
pre-recorded weather report online by a competing station, and I discover that
Thursday’s high is supposed to be around -5 with wind chills rounding out at
about -32 degrees. Naturally, Thursday
is the only day this week that I am committed to running all over the place
after work and won’t be home until about 9:30 p.m. My timing, as usual, is impeccable …
impeccably bad.
You know what I’m going to
do in the morning? Sure you do. I’m going to watch NECN, and I’m going to
listen, too, maybe even swear a few times.
Then I’ll grab my scarf, maybe a hat, wrap myself up in a warm coat,
wear extra socks, get my gloves on, and I’ll brave the New England winter. I’ll haul the trash to the end of the
driveway first … very, very quickly … and then I’ll do whatever the weather
people and traffic people tell me to do.
Two mistakes may not make
a right, but my learning curve has improved greatly as a result.
