MY SENSE OF WINTER HUMOR

(Bubble-palooza)

I pissed off Mother Nature yesterday by hiding my shovels and daring winter to come back.  I get paid back with an inch of snow on the ground while driving to work this morning.  It's all good.  It is mostly fluffy crap.  Mostly.  Except for the slippery crap.  It is a fluffy, slippery, crap-filled morning.

But I do NOT shovel.

As a matter of fact, I up the ante on the way home.

I get my car washed.

I know, I know.  Getting the car washed is the kiss of death for weather.  But I have to do it.  You don't understand.  My brown car is bothering me, especially since it's white.  It has to be done, rain or snow or hail or sunshine.

(giant cloth swabbing my windshield)

So blame me when the Thursday blizzard rolls through, though I have openly defied Mother Nature again today during lunch in the teachers' room and claimed we will get nothing note-worthy.  Sure, the forecasters are predicting mayhem and  madness and multiple inches of the white shit.  But I call bullshit.

It's relatively early for me to be throwing in the towel.  Usually I'm all excited about the last hurrahs of snow that come rolling on through.  But I'm tired and I'm cold, and I'm tired of being cold.  I'm tired of shoveling in the dark and the frigid wind chills.  I'm tired of going outside when it's below zero.  I'm tired of dry skin and itchy clothing and icy feet and chilled limbs.  I'm tired of fighting to keep my core temperature above 95 degrees.

And I'm tired of driving a brown-supposed-to-be-white car.  Not too tired, though.  I do take out my phone camera while driving through the car wash and snap two pictures of the giant cloth swabbing across the windshield.

See, Mother Nature?  I have a sense of humor, too.