I despise shopping. I especially detest shopping on weekends
along with every schmoe in the world. However, my new work hours make getting
anywhere after school impossible. So, Saturday morning finds me trying to beat
the weekend crowds to two places: Home Depot and Michaels.
All I need at Home Depot are lightbulbs. Yes, lightbulbs. I
probably could buy them at the local hardware store, but if I go to Home Depot,
I can spend more money on stuff I don’t need. And, I do. I buy batteries for
Christmas toys (like the barking/singing stuffed dog and the walking penguin),
and I buy battery-operated lights to put outside on the porch, like I really
need to do that since I am inside and the lights are outside. But, hey, I just
bought batteries, so why not, right?
As for Michaels, the only things I really need are those small “fairy” lights for some mini trees. I get there early because Home Depot self-checkout goes faster than I expect and I beat the crowds. There is a woman pacing back and forth outside Michaels, obviously distressed that she cannot get inside. I laugh at her, thinking perhaps she is an anxious crafter. I am wrong. Turns out that she is an employee who is dangerously close to being late for work. After she is let in, I watch the door, waiting another ten minutes for the store to officially unlock.
Turns out I am not the only one watching for the opening of
doors. At exactly 8:58, a dozen people joust for first place in the
socially-distant but impatient waiting game. Still sitting in my car, I don’t
get it. This isn’t a fire sale; it’s the tail end of a sale that’s been going
on all week. I don’t imagine many things will be left on the sale shelves. No
matter. I am after “fairy” lights. Except, I also see the lights with snowmen,
and Santa, and mini trucks with Christmas trees in the beds. These are all
battery operated lights. And, what do you know, I just bought a crap-load of
batteries.
I buy way too much at Michaels, way more excess stuff than I
do at Home Depot. I could probably overbuy anywhere: auto supply store, paint
store, computer store … you put me there, I’ll find something to buy, which is
shockingly against all of my principles. Remember: I despise shopping.
The only problem is that shopping doesn’t detest me back.
