I am exhausted. Truly exhausted. Say what you want about
teachers (just don’t say anything within my earshot), but we are working our
asses off. The shortest workday I’ve had has been twelve hours, and my weekends
don’t fare much better. Sixteen hours a day is my current average.
Self-care time, right?
Unfortunately, self-care time is at the expense of sleep
because the school work still needs to get done, prepped, scheduled, and
executed. Weighing my sanity against sleep, sleep usually loses. So why … why
would I buy fruit at the store knowing damn well I will never have time to eat
it because I am sitting rooms away from the kitchen, chained to computers
(plural – you read that correctly).
I have this idea that fruit will help me to stay healthy.
Sleep would actually do that, but fruit is easier to manage and far more
plentiful. Anyway, I end up with a perfectly fine batch of browning bananas
plus a pint of absolutely lovely blueberries. I must decide: throw out the
fruit or throw out a couple of hours of work.
Thank goodness I choose to sacrifice work.
Even the warm, summery temperatures don’t deter me. I get
up early on a Sunday morning, ignore my school laptop, and bake banana muffins
and banana bread from scratch. This actually makes me happier than I thought.
Oh, sure, it catches up to me Sunday night when I am falling asleep at the
computer, but I have banana bread to keep me company.
On Thursday I come home from work after a day of only two
meetings plus live (meaning teaching kids at school and at home all at the same
time) classes all day. Should I be prepping for the next day? Should I be
posting grades? Should I be fielding emails? Of course I should, but I’m not. I
am baking lemon blueberry muffins and bread.
The only bad results of my baking self-care workshops are
these: I lose time doing school stuff, I lose sleep, and I eat way too much
melted butter. Truth be told, though, I really do feel better. Exhausted . . . but fruitier.
