I'm not even kidding here, people: no roast beef in the pre-cut deli meat case, none in the order-it deli case, and none in the deli back fridge. The grocery store has run out of roast beef.
I. Can't. Even.
The worker who is not the one waiting on me suggests to my deli worker, "We have sirloin..." My worker kid looks up, sees my face, and realizes that this is probably a stupid suggestion. He is apologetic, and I laugh it off.
I could just order some roast beef at a nearby restaurant and have them make me a sub, but I'm kind of in the mood for roast beef maybe in a roll and maybe not; maybe just rolled up and sprinkled with salt and maybe not.
I wander around the store and debate what I'm going to buy. I circle back to the deli, grab some roast turkey, pick up the other things on my list, then add bacon and an avocado to my cart. To Hell with you, roast beef!
When I get home from the store, I build a fabulous turkey club sandwich on toast with veggies, bacon, and avocado slices. It may not be the bloody rare red meat that my body has been craving (probably some deficiency from being so damn sick this week), but I end up with an outstanding dinner, plus I have enough leftover avocado to make a small bowl of fresh guacamole.
Take THAT, roast beef! Apparently: I. Can. Even.
