WHAT THE HECK ARE THE TURKEYS DOING?

Here in Massachusetts, crazy stuff is happening.  Winds are toppling over trees and smooshing people in their cars, the air is so cold it freezes snot inside of noses the instant one steps outside, and turkeys hold a funeral for a dead cat.

You read that correctly.

In a video that appears to be going viral, a Massachusetts man filmed a bizarre scene happening in the middle of the road.  Turkeys formed a wide circle and marched single-file around and around a dead cat.  Was it a wake?  A funeral?  A celebration?  What the heck were the turkeys doing?

Whatever it was, it was geometrically perfect, and it was perfectly strange.

Many years ago my family and I lived in a nearby city.  The city held a St. Patrick's Day parade every year, and it was usually televised on the local cable access channel.  My kids and I sat on the couch, glued to the television, watching for their school friends to march by with their dance troupes, scout troops, or bands.

Halfway through the parade, three Irish wolfhounds came by on leashes.  For anyone who has never seen an Irish wolfhound, they are the tallest breed of dog.  Not only are the dogs huge, but their crap is huge, as well.  How do I know this?  I know this because one of the dogs laid a giant turd right in the middle of the street and right in front of one of the main television cameras.

Back before the time of plastic bags being required for dog owners, the person walking the dog looked at the crap, looked at the dog, looked at the paraders in front and behind him, looked at the crap again, and kept on marching, leaving the steaming pile of pooh right in the street where it landed.

An older gentleman marched a few paces behind.  I cannot remember right now if he had a musical instrument with him or if he were merely another character marching along the parade route.  The moment the older gentleman spotted the poop, he began dancing around it, pointing to it, and doing circles around it.  At first we thought he was trying to warn other marchers not to step in the pile, but it soon became obvious that he was just some crazy old coot enjoying a pooh dance.

The turkey circle video reminded me of the parade as the turkeys also inappropriately paid homage to a pile of steaming something in the middle of the road.  I half-expected one of the turkeys to start squawking, "Bring out yer dead!  Bring out yer dead!"

I kind of wish I had an answer to the question, what the heck were the turkeys doing.  Wait!  Maybe I do.  They were doing an Irish step dance in preparation for taking over for the Irish wolfhounds.