One positive of this horrible behavior is that I can look at the clock and tell myself, "Oh, great. Two hours and fifteen minutes until the alarm goes off," or whatever happens to be left of the night. Another positive is that I do enjoy numbers, and sometimes I awaken at a clever number. "Hey, it's 1-2-3-4!" (at 12:34 a.m.), or maybe it's 11:11 or 1:11, 2:22. 3:33. 4:44, or perhaps 1:23 or 2:34, or 4:56.
My alarm is set for 5:05 so my digital clock says SOS. My mind works that way.
Sometimes I push myself to stay up late enough so that I doze off at the table, in a chair, on the couch, at the computer, solving a puzzle -- even if I catnap for only a moment. I tell myself that I am really tired, staggeringly tired, and yet when I finally get into bed, I fall into REM sleep only to awaken ten minutes later, an hour later, two hours later.
I do not have trouble falling asleep; I have trouble staying asleep.
There is one final positive about this whole debacle. When I talk to other people, mostly women about my age, it becomes obvious that many of us are unwilling night owls who function normally by day and malfunction horribly by night, crashing badly when there is finally a day without alarm clocks. We should have some secret cyber spot where we can chat: Hey, I'm awake. What are you doing? Anything good on television other than infomercials? Hello?
Well, I'd love to write more, but I am thinking I might take a nap, maybe even go to bed. Don't worry, though. I'm sure it will be a short-lived adventure.
