TEA PERSONALITY

I am a tea drinker, and I work with tea drinkers.  Every team meeting, we have tea.  Sometimes we have tea just because, even when we don't have meetings.

Each of us has a tea personality.  For instance, the health-conscious, sweet youngster amongst us is a green tea with pomegranate (plus two sugars) gal.  The environmentalist drinks green tea straight up.  The logical one (with mad cooking skills) drinks her black tea (usually English Breakfast) neat.

I am as far from green tea as one can get.  Tea isn't supposed to be green.  When the Sons of Liberty dumped tea in Boston Harbor, that shit didn't turn green.  That was tea from the British East India Company, not some health-conscious crunchy-granola company.  Tea isn't supposed to be absorbed through one's pores along with a mellow mantra; tea is supposed to go directly to your brain like it has been mainlined.

Black tea.  Black tea all the way.

I do like plain old black tea.  I also like tea from the UK, and  I like the orange pekoe and Oolong strains from the Far East.  However, my true tea personality is, of course, no surprise to anyone:

CONSTANT COMMENT.

Constant Comment is like mulled wine in a tea bag.  It doesn't need sugar or honey, and it's perfect for a motor-mouth like me.  Of course, I run out of Constant Comment (tea, that is -- I'm rarely at a loss for words), and the elderly copy lady at work hands me a huge bag of Earl Grey tea.  I've been trying to tough it out, but it's simply too refined; too fancy; too stiff-upper-lip.

It's all good, though; fear not!  I have restocked the stash!  The next time we have tea at work, I will be back to my chatterbox self, doing what I do best: sipping and making Constant Comment.