Friday, February 10, 2017

TOO DAMN OLD TO SHOVEL

I am too old to shovel and too young to retire to Florida.  This reality leaves me in a pickle.

Lately, my old house has been showing its age.  I have mice in the kitchen and today I am sitting at my computer in my bedroom when a hornet flies into my face.  No, I did not react fast enough to swipe at it before it disappeared presumably back into my tiny closet.

As for today's snowfall, any time the snow comes with winds, my side of the driveway gets clobbered.  Years ago my landlords were in a fight with the neighbor, so they put up a huge fence along the property line.  Problem is all the snow that could blow into the neighbor's yard gets stuck in my fence.  We could have a four inch snowstorm, but I would be shoveling a foot of snow because it ends along my fence.

Tonight, though, my son and I are outside in the dark, in the wind, and in the 11 degree weather to shovel the walkway, the driveway, and to clear off two vehicles.  We trudge through about fourteen inches of snow on my side of the driveway.  My neighbor who parks next to me?  Bare spots on the driveway.  BARE.  No snow.  And his car has blown all of its snow into my side.

As soon as we are done shoveling the entire driveway and partly into the street (because the town is full of plow drivers who do not know that a street isn't a footpath), as soon as we are inside the house eating or showering or watching television, the landlord starts up the snowblower.

Fuck. My. Life.

Between the critters, the creepy crawlies, and the snow crystals, I do believe at my age that I've had enough.

Do I live in the best neighborhood ever?  Yes.  I live directly behind two cemeteries (quiet neighbors), and my landlords have not raised my rent forever.  Before this house, I lived two houses over.  I love being close to town, to stores, and to the train station.

But, there really isn't any house big enough for me and rodents and insects, and now I'm thinking there's no room for snow anymore, either.  I mean, I shoveled all 109" (or whatever it was) of that snow four years ago.  Mother Nature crapped on us every other day.  I had no one home to help me (son was at college) and had two cars, the walkway, and the entire driveway to do by myself.  Really.  Honestly.  I think I'm done.

I'll get some sleep and see how I feel in the morning.  Right now, though, I suspect the itch is too strong as I sit here with sore muscles and a raging headache from the barometric changes . . . and searching realtor.com.