AND WE'RE WALKING

I take a long walk this morning.  It's beautiful out, but already it's a little too hot and humid at 9:00 a.m.  I aim to go a different direction but decide that the big hill will be too much with this weather, so I head back toward town, up the smaller hill, in front of some shops, and beyond toward the nearby college. 

This all seems like a fantastic idea until the sun starts to grate on my last nerves.  I haven't even tried jogging (except in the crosswalk when cars won't stop) and I'm already soaked through everything I'm wearing from sweat and air condensation.  So I turn down a side street and find myself heading toward my usual route, all around the streets by the prep school, which is much closer to my house. 

I walk behind the middle school to check on the progress of the youth center construction.  This is a huge project, a multi-million dollar building, and there are three guys inside the fence working.  Three.  One is sitting on a tiny backhoe, the kind you might see digging fence post holes in someone's backyard, and the other two are leaning on very small shovels.  Hmmmmm.  If three guys are constructing this entire building, it's going to take years to finish.

As I come around the corner, I notice a couple walking together up the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street.  I notice they're going the same way I am, and I fall back a little to let them get about a hundred yards in front of me.  I figure they'll take one of the side streets and head back toward town.  I'd like to do that, but I'm only halfway through my walk and it's time for another hill ascent.

I follow the couple up the hill and decide I'll walk through the front of the prep school, cut across the multiple walkways, jump over route 28, and walk through the small field on the other side.  It's an elaborate plan with intricate twists.

The couple in front of me follows my exact intended path.  Even worse, I am gaining on them.

Once we cross the main street and hit the field, I notice they turn to the left and walk along the pavement that leads deeper into the heart of the campus.  Aha! They must be teachers and live on-site.  I walk to the right and pick up the sidewalk nearer to the street.  By the time I come to the edge of the road again, I see that the couple has turned and come down the school's access road.  They are now dead-on in front of me, jockeying for the lead on the only sidewalk down Phillips Street.

I drop back even more but cannot slow too much.  I don't want to get in front of them because ... well ... I just don't. The sidewalk ends on one side and picks up on the other side of the street.  The couple walks along the trodden grass, but I switch to the other side.  I have now managed to increase the distance between us to about fifty yards.  It's all good, I tell myself.  There's no way they'll walk across Abbot Street because that's heading back where they came fro.... Shit.

The couple goes the exact way I have planned.  By the time I turn the corner after them, I have cut the space between us to about twenty-five yards.  I cross the street again and walk in the road, popping into driveways when cars come my way.   Okay, I reason, but there is no way they're going to turn left on School Street.  No sooner do I think this when that's exactly what they do.  I figure I'll take the other side of the road when I notice a walker heading toward me on my side.  I cross the road again when I see a brick crosswalk.  No need to get a jaywalking ticket with so many witnesses out and about. 

I finally lose the other couple, with whom I have walked at least a mile, about four hundred yards shy of my house.  My intention is to get to the three-mile mark before heading in, but now I'm all creeped out by these circuit stealers.  I mean, my route is about as disjointed as it can get.  I'm notorious for doubling back over terrain I've already covered.  How is it that they would also be as random?  What are the odds?

When I hit my own driveway, I haven't quite made it to the 3.0 mile marker on my route, so I walk to the end of the street, circle the church parking lot, and hear my cell phone chime in, "Distance traveled is 3 miles..."  I head back and sit on my front stoop to cool down.  I half-expect the couple to stroll past my house while I'm resting.  I mean, they don't, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least.

I mean, if you're going to be random, might as well go big or go home, and, since I'm already home, it's up to them to make the gesture this time.