GRAMMAR GEEKS AND THE OXFORD COMMA

 A friend brought up the Oxford (aka: Serial) Comma.  

For those not in the know, here is a formal definition.  Then I will enlighten you as to why this definition is incorrect.  Here it is:
The Oxford comma is a comma before the word and at the end of a list:
We sell books, videos, and magazines.  It's known as the Oxford comma because it was used by printers, readers, and editors at Oxford University Press.  Not all writers and publishers use it, but it clarifies the meaning of a sentence when the items in a list are not single words:  These items are available in black and white, red and yellow, and blue and green.

Here's MY opinion, and you may take it, leave it (here comes the Oxford comma), or bite me, for all I care.

The Oxford comma, for some stupid reason, has been bastardized in the press, the schools (here it comes.... Oxford comma), and the public. Without it, you stitch together the last two items and create the illusion that they are appositives of the first item. Example: I like the pies, Joe and Lisa. So apparently I only like pies that are named Joe and Lisa, or perhaps I am directly addressing Joe and Lisa, who are Siamese Twins and share a Torso. I don't know for sure, but the Oxford comma, thank God, prevents such perversions. 

The rule is for items in a series, folks; items in a series.  That's the rule.  Can't just make shit up as you go (listen up, Chicago Manual of Style) and expect people to break the rules just because journalism and English students everywhere are too stupid to learn the rules.

You cannot marry Ken, Barbie and Midge unless:
A.  Barbie and Midge are Siamese twins
B.  Ken actually IS Barbie and Midge
C.  You live in an extremely liberal state
D.  You're a wedding officiant

Carry on.