Global warming, my ass.
It hasn't risen above 47 degrees all goddamned day. It's the end of May, people, the end of
flipping May, and it's parka weather here in eastern New England. Good thing it stopped raining or else by
midnight it would be snowing.
Oh, please. You
science types are going to try and explain to me how global warming affects
temperatures and creates extremes. First
of all, I've seen snow here in May and temperatures in the 90's in early April,
so zip it. Secondly, our globe has been
warming since the Ice Age. Otherwise,
we'd still be in the Ice Age. Capisce?
Mother Nature is just being an absolute bitch this
year. Snow snow snow followed by cold
cold cold followed by worm poop worm poop worm poop followed by more cold more
cold more cold. Don't even get me
started on these idiot weather forecasters again. Monday's forecast = 80's, sunny, beach day.
Reality = windy, chilly, overcast with showers.
How the hell can you even get it that
wrong?
This afternoon I have to run an errand with my youngest, who
has not left the house all day long. He
asks me, "Shorts or long pants?"
Dude, it's 45 degrees out,
raining, and we have to walk a few blocks.
Do what you think best, but I'm wearing an Eskimo snowsuit.
Just yesterday the temperatures were in the 80's … mere
miles west of here. Temperature changes
were so severe between the heat and the sudden rain squalls that parts of
Vermont and Western Massachusetts experienced flash floods. Just to the east, though, where I am? Bull-tickey.
Cold, miserable bull tickey.
It has been a shitty year so far. My team at school is being broken up, I keep
getting yelled at for shit I didn't do and for stuff I did do that I am totally
supposed to do, the university I paid tens of thousands of dollars to is
holding my thesis hostage (what for, I've no frigging idea), and several other
stupid-ass things, and Mother Nature has the nerve to put us into a near-freeze
day after day?
No one likes a control freak, especially one who controls
our comfort levels and vacation plans.
I'm starting to think it is not I but rather Mother Nature who is
experiencing menopause.
Snap out of it, Mother Nature! Seriously.
Snap the fuck out of it.
