FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T BREATHE ON ME!

The Grippe has taken hold of the teaching staff at school, and the snot-nosed plague has taken hold of the students.

I have stopped going to the lunchroom for fear the flu will get me.  The teaching staff is falling faster than soldiers on mustard gas.  In an effort to avoid getting the Perilous Pukies, I am avoiding people all together.

The kids, on the other hand, are not only passing the flu around, they're all coughing everywhere.  All of a sudden!  No one was coughing last week, but now they're all hacking lungs up and blowing green goo out of every facial orifice they possess.

I don't mind a little down time from work, but I prefer it be on MY terms.  However, here's the real rub:  My April break is less than two weeks away.  I do NOT want to spend it being sick.

So, people, because I love you all, you can come and visit, you can stand near my desk at work, you can even hand me germ-laden homework papers because I am equipped with hand sanitizer and Lysol spray.

But if any of you little stinkers (or you big, tall stinkers like my closest roomie, Mr. R, who called out sick Monday, and he is never, ever out sick) so much as BREATHES on me, I am declaring full-scale war on your asses. For god's sake, whatever you do, just do not breathe on me.