The construction project where I work has officially driven
me insane.
They are building a new school right outside my window, like
right outside. The port-a-potty is now
within aroma-wafting distance of my classroom.
A boulder separates me from actually handing the guys toilet paper when
they enter the rectangular contraption.
Thrilling.
But that's not the part that's driving me over the edge.
The crew spent weeks pulling giant boulders out of the
ground and dragging them about twenty feet from my window. I thought maybe it was some strange
foundation for the new building. I know
some things about industrial construction, and this didn't make sense to me,
but the boulders were all lined up in rows, carefully placed that way after
hours and hours and hours of frivolous work.
This week the crew started drilling into the boulders to
break them into pieces and haul them away.
That's right … they DRAGGED the giant rocks AWAY from the
edge of the woods a few hundred yards, put them right next to my window,
and started hammering at them. All
day. Aaaaaaaaaall day. All motherfucking day long for days on end.
The sound is like a dentist drill for someone whose teeth
are the size of urban apartments. The
entire classroom vibrates all day, and I am forced to listen to: CHUNKACHUNKACHUNKACHUNKACHUNKACHUNKACHUNKACHUNKA…
for hours without cessation. The only
time I get a break is when I go to the teachers' room to pee.
The other day it was so loud that the kids and I couldn't
hear each other while standing a mere two feet apart and yelling.
Look, progress is a wonderful thing. But people, seriously, if you're going to
spend thousands of tax dollars moving boulders around, maybe the crew should
move them AWAY from the school, not NEXT to it.
Maybe they're hoping a large shard bounces off and hits the school; I
just don't know.
I have watched them start working their way down the boulder
line. One thing is certain, though: When they get directly in front of my window,
they'd better think twice about making sure their pants are up after leaving
the latrine, because once that final rock is obliterated, there will be nothing
standing between my room and the port-a-potty except a few tumbleweeds.
I'm just saying.
