Friday is what I like to call "Snot-Freezing
Weather."
It's so cold that the moment I walk outside, my nose seizes
up inside as if two little ice rinks have just frozen over so the paramecia that
live inside my nose cilia can play hockey.
Wind gusts whip through the work parking lot like they are powered via
some Arctic turbine, and the wind chill is well below the current air temperature
of 21 degrees. It feels like -5° F. The news stations claim it's really only
about 14° F. Either way, it's damn cold
outside at the end of the day.
I walk past one of the construction workers as I exit the
building. I am a proverbial yakker, as
is one of my sisters, and I will strike up a conversation with anyone. Once I catch the worker's eye (truthfully, he
is in my direct beeline to the car so I almost run him down as I barrel by with
attitude along the sidewalk), the following dialogue ensues:
ME: It's
freezing out here!
(Construction Guy makes eye contact, realizes he cannot
avoid me, and smiles half-heartedly. Probably
thinking, "Goddamnit, if only I'd walked faster…")
CG: It's a
little chilly.
ME: I don't
envy you guys today!
(Construction Guy walks a little slower, trying to be polite
to the middle-aged crazy woman who has a bad hip … Oh wait … that's me. Frik.)
ME: Hey, maybe
I DO envy you. You get to be outside all
day in the fresh air with no kids around.
CG: It's not
so bad as long as you dress for the weather.
ME: Yeah, and
have plenty of alcohol in the fridge for when you get home. No.
Wait. That would be ME.
CG: (Laughs --
hey, I must've cracked a joke or else he is humoring me --- shut up and let me
live out this fantasy moment, people.) Have
a nice weekend.
ME: Thanks,
you too.
Less than thirty minutes later, the frozen pomegranate
margarita is on the counter in honor of Friday, the long weekend, the
snot-freezing weather, and Construction Guy.
The hockey-playing cilia paramecia are the only losers in this encounter
because the heat is cranking, and, furnace willing, there won't be any
snot-freezing weather inside tonight. Though --
I did see a construction crew at the end of my street digging up the water
lines a short while ago. Hmmmm…. I wonder if they feel
like chatting? (Scene fades out.)
