BEING AMERICAN WITH WALKERS CRISPS

I've never been to England. My long-ago relatives have, so I suppose there's still a little British leaning somewhere, but I am truly a rebel patriot through and through. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy some of the finer things in life, such as English tea, London dry gin, and Walkers products.

That's right. WALKERS. Walkers shortbread cookies and Walkers crisps, to be specific.

Walkers shortbread cookies can be found in grocery stores, particularly Stop 'N' Shop, as well as the specialty food aisles at TJ Maxx. I had to stop myself from buying them because I eat them. No, not one or two at a time; one or two boxes at a time. You might be familiar with the American low-rent shortbread cookie also known as the Girl Scout Trefoil. Once you try a Walkers shortbread cookie, you'll never go back to a Trefoil. Not ever.

The crisps, however, are on a separate plane of existence. Sure, there are strange ones that no sane American would touch: marmite and prawn cocktail. But, people, listen up. Walkers crisps come in smoky bacon flavor. You read that correctly; I said what I said. Smoky bacon. Bacon . . . that's smoky . . . in a chip.

Imagine my delight at accidentally running into the Scottish-British section of food products on my way to an event in nearby Concord. Coming face to face with the displays, I am gobsmacked (that's informal British, by the way). Pawing through the various tea flavors, I suddenly brighten at the random thought: Perhaps, if they have British and Scottish tea, they may sell Walkers, too!

Lo and behold, this store certainly does sell Walkers crisps (and other products). While I am deflated and desolate that there are no smoky bacon crisps, I do settle for the British version of salt and vinegar. Full disclosure, I am addicted to the Lays American version, as well, but, hey, I mean . . . WALKERS. 

I am proud to say that I left the store after purchasing just one bag of Walkers crisps. I should've snagged that Scottish breakfast tea, as well, but there is a method to my madness. Since I failed to purchase the tea, I will have to go back to the store soon to do so. Perfectly logical. Maybe by then there will be a fresh shipment of Walkers crisps, and maybe they'll have smoky bacon flavor.

What could be more appropriate than making this conquest at a market in Concord, whistling distance to the Old North Bridge? I'll invade the aisles like the good and decent rebel patriot American I am, capture the Walkers crisps, and liberate them to my kitchen pantry until such time as it becomes necessary to show them who rules the flavor buds now.