Leaving work, I find myself behind a nondescript SUV. SUVs are all starting to look the same to me. I drive a black sedan, and I cannot even count on both hands how many times I've tried to get into someone else's car because I thought it was mine. All these vehicles these days look the same.
Try to imagine my surprise when the somewhat passive looking SUV in front of me bears the insignia Maserati. That's right. Yes, folks, apparently the elite sports car company Maserati makes an ordinary-looking, bland, rather forgettable sports utility vehicle.
And just like that, the idea of Maserati falls feet . . . yards . . . miles in my esteem.
Wait. Maserati makes a flipping mini van?
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Maserati is owned by Fiat, which produces the most uncomfortable tiny car that I have ever driven: The Fiat 500 Pop. It shakes and rattles and rolls more than Bill Haley. If you're going to mass-produce a crappy small car, might as well pervert the image of your elite sports car company.
Oh, I don't begrudge you buying a Maserati SUV or mini van, but I will and do judge you just a teeny bit. If you want to buy an expensive van that touts you as a big and free spender, Mercedes has an entire division dedicated to vans, from cargo to camping. And Range Rover is the elite SUV for those of you with money burning a hole in your back pocket. I have to be honest, though -- if I ever buy a Maserati, it won't be to haul the soccer team to games.
I know, I know. To each his own, mind my own business, and judge not lest ye be judged. Right? But, come on. Really, Maserati? Do you truly think anyone can take your sports cars seriously when you're also offering the Ken and Karen of motor vehicles on the same damn lot?
Thanks for the laugh, at least. It kind of made my afternoon and made my old sedan feel a little less pedantic.
