Hot . . . Cold . . . Hot . . . Cold. Heat on . . . Heat off . . . Air conditioner on . . . Air conditioner off . . . Windows open . . . Windows shut.
Welcome to Spring in New England.
Commonly called "mud season," Spring is the official time of year when it is 70 degrees for a couple of days -- just enough time for the flowers to pop up and the snowblowers to be stored away -- and then it's sub-zero with snow the following few days. It's the time of year when frozen mud creates concrete-like driving obstacles.
This is when people from New England laugh at visitors from out of town. Oh, you brought your winter coat? Too bad. It's 80 today. Oh, you brought your flip-flops? Well, it snowed a foot last night, so good luck with that.
I always laugh when my friends and relatives tell me that they've packed away their shovels and winter clothes by April 1st. People, do you not remember the April Fool's storm that dropped two feet of snow? Do you not remember the year it rained every day for six weeks straight, flooding everything from parking lots to apartment complexes to roads and highways -- and when the sun finally came out, we were all blinded like star-nosed moles? Did you forget that Mother Nature is Mother F#@%$&'s evil twin?
I still have my Christmas lights up on my porch. I don't always turn them on, but they're there, just the same. I still have my snow shovel handy. I can still access my scarves and mittens. My snowshoes are still in my car at the ready.
But, I'm no fool. I also have my shorts close by and my sandals are just a short stretch near the sneakers. Sunscreen is always, always at the ready.
How can you tell that it's truly Spring in New England? Watch the shoulder-shrug-arm-roll. This is the cool move we make when pulling a sweatshirt on . . . no, off . . . no, on again . . . wait, now it's off again . . . We locals have perfected it, but it's awfully fun to watch the tourists try and pull it off.
