My friend and her fiance know how to cook. Actually, I suspect that it's mostly her fiance who cooks. The meals always look amazing, but I have developed this strange fetish about turning their culinary beauty into sick-looking pieces of contemporary art.First and foremost, I am not a huge fan of what some people consider "contemporary" art, and this is coming from someone who much prefers modern looking thing: furniture, dishes, silverware, decorations... A few years ago I decided to visit the Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA) and discovered that many artists (not all, but far more than one would ever suspect) pass off absolute bullshit as "contemporary" art: a chair stuck to a wall, a ream of paper glued together piece by piece, magic marker lines on a canvas that a kindergartener could've done better. Sorry if you're a contemporary artist, but I'll be honest enough to tell you that you probably suck.
And I suck, too, which is why I am so fascinated with turning my friend's food into art.
I'll be honest enough, too, to admit that my art career started with weather radar images, particularly thunderstorm imagery, and my art sucks, too. My art is improving, though, because I am using a stylus now, so I'm not embellishing free-hand on my phone any longer. The food is a fabulous medium as long as I stick to pictures and don't actually try dragging my hands through any of it, although that has distinct possibilities, as well.
I'm waiting to be discovered. If my friend's fiance continues to cook and post pictures for my entertainment, I may have enough fodder for my own show at the ICA. If that happens and I get my own exhibition, I'll invite all of my friends and I'll hire my friend's fiance to cater the event. Imagine that! People could watch the artist and muse working live!
Oh, well. An artist can dream, right? In the meantime, I hope those two don't mind my thoughtless and completely tacky renditions of their otherwise fabulous meals. Maybe someday we'll all be famous together!
