POSTING RECIPES: WHY I WILL BE DEAD FOR BREAD

Okay, people out there in COVID-19 Land, you need to STOP right now.  Stop it, stop, stop it!  You need to stop posting recipes on social media.

I'm serious.  That Buffalo chicken pull-apart bread recipe that somebody posted?  I hate you right now.  Seriously.  I risked my life for that recipe.  I ended up finding some of the ingredients and maybe I will be able to Mickey Mouse the rest of it.

The pizza dough was the problem.

That's right.  Pizza dough.  The store didn't have any dough, so I went for canned pizza dough.  Nothing.  So I looked for yeast.  No yeast.  Apparently everyone in the world bought up all the yeast when they also bought up all the flour.

I circled that damn store four times, risking my health and my sanity, because someone posted that damn recipe.  And ... I am pleased to report ... that I did, indeed, finally find a package of Italian pizza dough in the refrigerator section on my third pass through.

But then, oh, and here's where I really damn you, I began thinking about the refrigerator chocolate chip cookie dough.  You know, the kind you can break squares off and bake a few at a time.  Yes, I was trying to leave the store, trying to get to the check-out, and I had to turn around.  My fourth pass by the dairy section wasn't even for dairy, damnit; it was for cookie dough!

All because YOU posted the Buffalo chicken pull-apart bread recipe.

Stop it, people.  Stop posting mouth-watering recipes with things I do not have in my house that will force me to convince myself that I must venture out into COVID-19 Land or die never having tasted the succulent masterpiece you've posted on social media.

I can see the grave marker now:  DEAD FOR BREAD.  Truth.