Monday, March 12, 2018

POOR PARKING AND OTHER PROBLEMS

(Backing up...)
A friend and I are out to dinner.  We park in a spot in the lot when we notice a car in the adjacent lot attempting to park.  It's a very small red car, and it is backing up, pulling in, backing up, pulling in...  It appears that the driver is attempting to recreate the three-point turn luggage cart scene from Austin Powers.

It takes the driver no less than six tries to get into a space big enough for a dump truck.  Meanwhile, I am filming all of this and trying not to pee my pants.
(Backing waaaaaay up...)

When the driver finally puts the car into park, my friend and I have to sidle next to the vehicle to see what's going on.  Surely this has to be a new, inexperienced driver.  It must be.  No one else can possibly drive that poorly unless he or she is drunk or blind or ancient.

(Backing up yet again)
Turns out it is a woman a little older than we are.  Her mission: pick up take-out food.  Judging by her parking attempts, we can only speculate on how long the food has been ready, and just how many hours it might be before her starving family gets to eat.  Who knows?  Maybe it will be another twenty minutes for her to angle the car just so in the driveway when she arrives home.

We do search around for cameras.  Surely this has to be some kind of a spoof, a gag, a television or youtube worthy endeavor.  Nope.  It appears that this woman is not only completely sober but completely incompetent, as well.

(This time might be the charm...)
We do not hang around to see how many tries it takes her to back out of her space.  At this point, my friend's car is parked relatively safely on the other side of a barrier (but, really, who knows...), and we are quite hungry and don't want to waste another twenty minutes of our time.  We do not hear any major crunching or crashing, and no ambulance or police appear, so we have to assume that sometime over the course of our hour-long meal that crazy-ass driver has gotten home.

(Over the line ... but in!)
Either that or she has morphed into Austin Powers and we will see her backing out and pulling in and backing out ... of the space on our way home with our leftovers.