GAS METER MADNESS - TAKE 2

I get the mail today, and there are two things: my son's W-2 forms and this weird postcard from the gas company.  The gas company says they're going to shut off my gas if they can't come in and inspect the lines and the meter.  So, I call the number, and the fun begins.

I am on hold for several minutes, which doesn't seem like a long time ... unless I am having a gas emergency.  If I were having a gas emergency, this could pose a problem.  When a live person finally answers, she asks me for my address, the number of people that I usually have in my car, and whether or not I drink Dr. Pepper.  (It seems that way, anyway.) 

After asking me all this, she says, "I'm going to put you on hooooo--"

"No, nono nono, NO!" It's too late.  I am on hold for another few minutes. 

She finally comes back on the line and tells me that my gas meter needs to be inspected.  This is complete and utter bullshit. 

"I don't own the house," I tell her.

"That doesn't matter."

"The gas meter was just replaced recently," I say.

"Yes, in June.  And we have to inspect it every year." Ummmmm... June was just seven months ago.  That's not a year.  She continues, "So when can we come in?  During the day or at night?"

You can't come in; you can bite me.  "How soon are we talking here?" I ask.

"February is open."

Last time the gas company came in and changed the meter, my rates went up about 150%.  I think this is just another scam, but I cannot afford to have the heat shut off.  "Okay," I say, "but I don't get home until 4:00, and only sometimes.  Sometimes I work later."

I hear her brain ticking away through the phone lines.  "Okay, then the earliest we have is April."

"But you said February."

"Yes, April."

I am shaking my head, but she cannot hear this through the phone.  "But the new meter went in last June."

"Correct."

"And you said a year."

"Correct."

I sigh.  "And February that's really April is now really June."

There is a brief pause.  Then, "So, April 19th."

That's smack in the middle of my school break.  That would be one giant FUCK-NO.  "Let's make it the next week."

I'm so confused by the time I'm off the phone.  This is all the post office's fault.  If only tossing someone else's mail were not a federal offense, I wouldn't be in this predicament.