REALTY REALITY

I find myself spending way too much time on the Internet.  No, no, not really Facebook, although it seems like I'm always there.  I tend to forget FB is open and get distracted by the dinging of postings while doing other things.  I do check the weather a lot, especially if there's any kind of storm approaching. 

I'm talking about the realtor sites. 

I'm not buying, and that's because I'm fond of spending my money elsewhere and because I'm not smart enough to take care of a house on my own.  Every time my furnace and hot water heaters shit the bed over the last few decades, all I have to do is scream, "Landlord!  Rescue me!"  This is usually after I've half-frozen to death or after I've mopped up all the rusty water that has tainted everything I own in the basement. 

No, I'm talking about the rentals.  I'm impractical, too.  Rather than search something nearby, which I do on occasion, I start looking far away.  I start close by, then move the circle further out, first through Massachusetts and then to New Hampshire.  After that comes Maine.  I want to be near the coast.

Or, so I say.

Then I find myself searching along ponds and lakes.  This moves to rivers until I remind myself that rivers rise and flood, especially during the snow-melt season or during torrential and sudden rains.  Fresh water is not the ocean, and I mosey on back to easy access and salty air.  Three bedrooms would be nice, but two is the minimum.  Laundry would be great, but I can live with a well-stocked laundry room, too.  Pets?  Not sure.  I once lived with a cat in the place above me who ran back and forth like it was on the NASCAR circuit, and always this happened at 4:00 a.m.

Somehow my searches always end up in Oregon or Washington state.  I've never been to either, but I've seen the photographic evidence.  Sometimes I search Florida and California, too.  Occasionally I'll pinpoint a place on the map and seek out housing options on the Net.  What's out there?  What kind of prices are they asking?  What kind of village/town/city is nearby? 

Some people play Farmville; some people play Candy Crush Saga.  I play Realtor Roulette.  I'd like to keep typing this post, but I've been obsessing over some properties in and around Portsmouth, New Hampshire, so, if you don't mind too much, I'm off to the coast...