I've had a rough couple of days.
It starts Wednesday morning when I accidentally knock a
piece of handmade pottery from a shelf and it smashes into pieces. This isn't just any pottery; this is the
pottery mug in which my drink was served on the last night of the Plymouth
State University Medieval and Renaissance Forum where as visiting undergraduate
(from another college) I presented a paper at their graduate conference. That mug has been with me for sixteen
years. Gone. Killed by my own hand.
Then, I break a tooth.
After going for a coincidentally pre-scheduled panoramic jaw x-ray (and
lamenting my timely broken tooth), the oral surgeon finds suspect shadows on
the film and performs an emergency examination of my jaw and mouth to see if I
have masses growing under my palate. He
hands me the second copy of the x-rays and insists I come back in six months
for a follow-up picture.
I drive from there to my grad class in Salem, where the
computers won't cooperate, and I am forced to handwrite for an hour while everyone
else types merrily away on their own laptops.
I have to conference with the professor afterward and decide that
narrowing down a topic for a research paper really is a pain in the ass, and
why am I writing a research paper, anyway, when this is supposed to be a composition
writing seminar?
To cap off an otherwise perfect night, as I am pulling out
of the parking area at school, I edge out into the street past the obstructed
view of SUV's parked neck and neck with the narrow exit to the main road. I end up swiping a Chevy Malibu. No damage except her car now wears the paint
of my car, and I have her tire tracks all over the front near my driver's side
headlight. But still, we must have
campus security take our statements, exchange info, and stand in the sub-zero
wind chills for twenty minutes. Once
home I spend another forty minutes uploading accident photos and my statement to
my insurance guy because I know I won't be home in the morning -- The car has
an oil change scheduled at 9:00 a.m.
Pissah. A banner day.
Thursday is better, but not by much. Thursday is a manic-depressive day. I get the oil changed and tires rotated on the
car - YAY. It won't pass inspection
without $350 worth of work - BOO. They
can do the work right then and there - YAY.
I don't have my credit card with me, only my check book - BOO. They let me drive the car home and call in my
credit card number - YAY.
There is a message on my home answering machine from the
owner of the car with whom I had the extremely slow-motion fender-bender -
BOO. No insurance claim will be filed -
YAY. My car's paint is simply wiping off
of her car - YAY. My car is missing a
4"x6" chunk of paint in the front - BOO. Nobody's car even sustained a single dent -
YAY. No surcharge - YAY.
I arrive at the dentist.
He actually saves and fixes the broken tooth - YAY. He finds a small cavity in the tooth next to
it - BOO. He gives me lots of novacaine -
YAY. The drill sprays freezing cold
water into my upper teeth, sending my body hurtling to the ceiling from the
shock - BOO. The dentist finishes in no
time and my teeth look better than before - YAY. I tell the dentist about the shadows the oral
surgeon spotted on my film - BOO.
Dentist compares it to an x-ray from 2004 and shows me that the shadows
do not seem to have changed and explains it could even be the way I was holding
my head during the pano - YAY. I
discover that I cannot speak correctly - BOO.
I forget I got dropped off at the dentist and have to walk home in the
icy wind - BOO. Hours later my lower
right jaw bone feels extremely painful from the novacaine injection - BOO. I notice what appears to be residual nerve
damage as my mouth will not function correctly, even though I clearly have full
sensation back - BOO.
I go to visit a friend - YAY. She needs a witness for some paperwork -
YAY. It means we have to wait for her
soon-to-be ex to come by and sign, too - BOO.
I serve as witness for them both so they can send the needed paperwork
to their son for a college experience abroad - YAY.
My friend and I celebrate by going to get frozen yogurt -
YAY. My mouth still is not cooperating,
and I feel as if I am making a huge mess of myself - BOO. My yogurt order comes to $6.66, meaning my
yogurt embodies the Sign of Satan. If
only the place hadn't been out of jimmies.
If only I'd put a strawberry on top.
What do I do, what do I do?
What I do is take a deep breath. After all that has happened in the last
thirty hours, it seems perfectly fitting that it all be topped off with
666. After all, I've faced destruction,
disorder, disaster, discord, and disjointment.
What's adding a little Devil mojo going to do? Scare me?
Ha, I doubt it at this point.
I've been roughed up enough in the last day. Maybe I'll just take a nap, but, with my
luck, a leg will snap off the couch. Oh
well. No sense in stopping now - I'm on
a roll.
