SAME OLD SAME OLD TRAVEL BLIPS

Whenever I travel, two things always happen without fail: 1. Some stranger accosts my personal space; and 2. My glasses break.

The first happens when I am minding my own business at Logan Airport. Regular readers of this blog will recognize the same old story. I am in a near-empty gate, sitting alone and away from humans, charging my phone, and generally minding my own damn business. Apparently I have a neon sign above my head that says, "Come! All ye who are loud and obnoxious, all ye who chew loudly, and who speak on your phones as if the whole world needs to know your life choices. Come, sit near me for a long, long while because I certainly don't wreak of 'Leave me the fuck alone' vibes."

A man, probably about my age, sits in a seat directly behind me (remember, the gate is near empty, so at least fifty other seats are completely unoccupied), starts up a video call, and proceeds to tell a woman (his poor wife?) all about everything from his travel woes to his pus-filled hemorrhoids. I know she can see me on the video call, and I've half a mind to swivel my head and scream, "Who are you talking to, you two-timing bastard?!" 

Finally, he says mercifully, "Let me put on my headphones so we can have a private conversation." Then, and this is the ridiculous part, he puts on the headphones but does not plug them into his phone. He continues on his very loud video call, only he's louder since he cannot hear clearly because he is basically now wearing mufflers on his ears. I turn, glance over my shoulder but am disappointed to see that he has angled the phone to the right so only half of his face is on the video screen (and none of mine). I shake my head and move two aisles over in the same waiting area because there is no one else here.

The second problem I have when traveling is that my glasses always break. Oh, they never break when I'm home or near a store -- only at the most inconvenient times and places. I have learned my lesson of having to wear driving sunglasses in the dark because my distance glasses broke during a road trip, and of not being able to read anything because my up-close glasses have lost a lens. Now, I always bring two pairs of driving glasses and two pairs of readers with me on trips. Simple. Problem solved.

However, on this particular trip, I will be going someplace sunny. At the last moment when parking my car at the long-term lot, I grab my driving sunglasses (the ones that saved me during that night driving incident) and pop them into my bag. Thank goodness I do. because I am wearing those constantly while driving around the neighborhoods of North Carolina.

I leave my glasses in the rental, no problem, and proceed to a park and to lunch. Until, that is, I get back in the SUV. Remember -- I have not been near the sunglasses for two hours; they are merely sitting alone in the vehicle. When I open the car door and ready myself to leave the parking lot, I grab my glasses and a random chunk of the temple tip of the frame has merely detached itself. I can't even pretend to use the glasses because they will fall right off the side of my face.

Thank goodness I still have two sets of driving glasses with me in my backpack in the car (I'm headed to the airport soon, anyway, so everything is with me). It doesn't help that I am driving into the sun, but it's okay. That's what car visors are made for, right?

When I get back to my own car at the long-term lot, it is dark, so I don't need my sunglasses. I have my spare pair in the car, anyway, but now I have to buy a spare spare. All in all, one random freakazoid headphone man and one set of broken glasses are not nearly enough to dampen a great trip, and it's reassuring to know that my travel blips remain steady. It almost feels like good luck!