HAPPY NEW YEAR

 It's the end of the year, and not a moment too soon. What a year! I cannot wait for it to be over, and yet I do have a few more days to wait. Soon, though. So very soon.

Thank goodness I can juggle. 

Well, not literally. I've tried to learn to juggle, but I'm simply too uncoordinated. However, I can mentally juggle things. I have sharp, rapid reflexes and am notoriously smooth at crafting quick solutions out of thin air while under extreme duress.

All this brings me to the Great Year-End Saga, which I won't get into this week. Probably next, though. 

Here's what I have to say to 2024: Do NOT let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

To be cautious and because I am going to do it anyway, I'm staying home for New Year's Eve. I already picked out some champagne-themed pajamas that I was gifted for Christmas as a celebratory outfit, and I'll do up my hair with a simple but colorful elastic. Maybe, just maybe, I'll opt for theme socks instead of slippers. If Christmas hasn't been packed up by then, I'll toast it all away with bubbly in one of my Santa mugs.

It's slated to be a happening time over here. I cannot even begin to explain what a wonderful evening this will be, unless, of course, my 2024 luck continues to rear its ugly . . . rear . . . in my planned and coveted blissful solitude.

Please, I'm begging you, 2024, please just leave and do so without your usual pomp and fiasco. If you value your reputation at all, you'll do it by December 31st at 11:59:59 p.m., before I can chalk up one more disaster and blame YOU.