THE (SAD) ZOO

The zoo should have better enclosures and more animals. Seriously.

First of all, there are so few animals in each enclosure that a zoo visit is more like a piss-poor game of Where's Waldo, but with an admission fee attached. It becomes a random guess-filled walk, hoping that other people's children will be able to point out the invisible zoo treasures.

"Where is the snow leopard? Does anyone see the snow leopard?"

"Hey, lady. You see that hint of shadow about thirty feet up? That's the reflection of one of its paws."

When I went to the National Zoo in DC the first time, apparently the panda was dead, so that was merely an empty space left open and unoccupied. The second time I went to the zoo in DC, it was so hot that even the desert animals couldn't be bothered to materialize.

Today's visit to the zoo starts with an immediate deterrent: All of the parking spaces have been taken by people at a university-level cross-country track meet. Yes, the course runs between the zoo and a golf country club. So, those of us who are paying zoo patrons actually have to park along the side of a crazily busy city main street, hoof it past the track runners who don't bother getting off the sidewalks nor out of the way of people and small children, and attempt to push carriages over rocky, muddy, overgrown terrain.

What's even sadder is that the last two times before this visit, I went to the zoo to see Corpse Flowers. Yes, even the things that smell dead are more enticing than lazy, listless living animals. I mean, I understand that the eagle needs to be contained, but in a chicken wire cage the size of my apartment bathroom? And the wallaby enclosure is large enough that there should be . . . oh, I don't know . . . wallabies running around in it, rather than one or two dozing against the fence yards away.

There are a lot of things to see, just the same. There's a giraffe that licks a steel pole, snoozing lions (one of whom would die the following day), and some gorillas (that surprisingly have not been able to escape from this place since Little Joe made it to a local bus stop in 2003). 

This zoo is not as sad as some other zoos, but that is hardly a testament to its continued existence. It just seems that perhaps the zebra enclosure might have more grass and less rocks and muck. The monkey "house" might have enough monkeys to make it worth seeing, perhaps monkeys in action rather than the sad looking monkeys that belong at the tent city on Mass and Cass, begging for money and heroin.

In case you're wondering if I'm just bitching or willing to pitch in, I do donate to the zoo, and, yes, monetary donations. But that doesn't seem to make it any less sad than it is and has been for decades. It used to be much better, which should tell you how awful it is now since even then it was borderline pathetic.

Will I go back? Of course I will. I do love the animals, it's a decent walk, and I have a yearly membership.