I hate shopping. Shoe shopping, clothes shopping, basically any kind of shopping. Okay, not book shopping, but everything else. Especially grocery shopping. I despise grocery shopping.
Unfortunately, it must be done. So, I do what any self-respecting grocery store hater would do: I drag along a friend.
We lose each other shortly after the first aisle. She heads to the deli, and I move along to the next great thing that I probably don't need. My list seems endless. Of course, this particular store in the chain is set up differently than every other store in the entire universe. It starts with meats, but eggs are in there, too. The dairy is spread out all along the back wall, so you have to shop up and down five or so aisles to get from the cheese to the the yogurt, and then another five to reach the milk.
It's downright disorienting.
My phone dings, and I assume it's my friend. It's not. It's my sister. I tell her that I've lost my friend. She wants to know where I am. I send her a snapshot of pears. Now, honestly, who the heck is going to buy and eat all of these pears? Is there some kind of pear festival coming about of which I am unaware? Since no one appears to be buying any pears (nor am I for I detest the taste), I park my cart right there in front of the display.
I suddenly see my friend zipping past me and heading deeper into the greens. I follow her. I am worried that she will be mad at me because I have filled my cart and she just had a few things to get. I am thrilled on two counts: she never got my message, and she has also ransacked the store and has a full cache of items, some possibly useless like a lot of mine.
We head to the check-out area, she in one line and I am in the one next to her. Today, she is the winner (loser) who has chosen the wrong line. But, since her cart isn't quite as jam-packed as is mine, she still finishes first and has to wait for me. I'd throw her a pear to eat while she waits . . . except I didn't buy any.
