Welcome to my world.
I grind my teeth when I sleep and
Suffer from migraines and stress headaches.
I function well in emergency situations because
I am quick-witted and fast on my feet.
I am highly-educated and
Decorated for my abilities.
I have a stellar sense of humor and
Can make up alternate song lyrics on the fly.
I do dramatic orations of hokey Christmas carols.
Most dogs seem to enjoy my company.
I once tamed a wild house cat.
Fitting in at social functions of all levels has
Never been a conundrum.
I can and do drive like a NASCAR racer.
My eighties dance moves are unrivaled.
If I count you as a friend,
You are a rare and precious commodity.
I sit in my car before going to work and
Tell myself I am not stupid and useless.
I convince myself that all the
Dental crowns I pay for are result of
Sleep-deprivation,
Denying any scientific correlation to my job.
I am an intelligent person.
I'm uncertain as to some of those in
My immediate orbit.
If I dance and whistle in the hallway,
It's probably not to prove how happy I am to
Anyone but myself.
Hear ye, hear ye.
All hail the Queen.
I'd like to keep the few teeth I have left
Because it's easier to recite Rudolph,
The Red-Nosed Reindeer
With a British accent if I have
Chicklets still firmly inside my jaw.
