Thursday, October 19, 2017

SHRIEKING ESPN REPORTERS, OR HOW TO SOUND LIKE AN AMATEUR

Not to make light of the situation, but really, ESPN, what the hell is the matter with you?

Celtics player Gordon Hayward snapped a leg in his season-opening game for the team.  Granted, anytime someone snaps a leg (bone), it's a little hard to watch.  However, calling it graphic and gruesome and telling people they should be prepared just to watch the replay?

What the ... Jeezusmaryandjoseph.  Do you frigging morons NOT have children?  Have you NEVER played sports?  Did anyone ever let you out of your glass bubble to, oh, I don't know ... go outside ... ever ... in your lifetime?

Granted what happened to Hayward is tragic from a team stand-point.  He just signed an outrageous contract, and now the Celtics are getting bullshit for their investment.  I'd be crying, too, over that financial hit.  But, calling the video nearly unwatchable and graphic?

Dudes, I've suffered more graphic and dramatic injuries while rollerskating.  I've had surgeries that pale the impact of the television feed from the game. I've seen more sickening footage during the opening credits of Wide, Wide World of Sports  (that frigging "agony of defeat").

You want to see horrific injuries and hear bones snapping?  Watch rugby.  Watch arm wrestling.  Watch UFC.  The only graphic Celtic bone-crunching I've seen is in Celtic football.

I agree that Hayward's injury sucks eggs, and nobody wants to break any bone, especially a bone that is directly attached to one's wallet.  But, please, ESPN, when it comes to New England sports, could you please get a frigging hold on your damn selves?  The video of Hayward's big fuck-up is no more horrifying than your persecution of Tom Brady during Deflategate.  Get. A. Grip.

Your "reporters" are about as full of integrity as the pile of dog crap I saw on the sidewalk last week: Dried up and smelling faintly of manure.

Personally, I hope Gordon Hayward recovers in a matter of weeks and is back on the court. 

Judging from my own stupid injuries (a foot broken in three places during judo randori and duct-taped together so I could finish the match; another foot cut in half on the top of a metal ship mast hidden in the sand at Craigville Beach; a sliced-open forehead during a game of Tag from running into the motor blades of a boat parked at my neighbor's house ... I could go on and on) though, ESPN, I gotta assure you: There is not much that is graphic about a tall guy busting his ankle while wearing thick socks and high-top sneakers running down a basketball court. 

That's just called "another day at the office."  Grow a set and stop shrieking like a bunch of amateurs ... unless, of course, that is exactly what you are.